Agarwal’, the shop-house of my grandfather’s youngest brother. A fair-skinned man with a smiling, round face, and a moustache, and a husky voice owing to a vocal-cord issue, he used to be around next door in the neighboring ‘R.K.
We would call him ‘Kattu bhaiji’, as everyone else did. Generosity and largeness of heart came naturally to him. He was among those who looked out for all. I believe there are two types of people in the world – those who like doing “us versus them” and those who believe in taking everyone along. Whenever there were major family events where planning was required – weddings, other events, or any crisis situations of any sort – deaths, property issues, etc., I could bank on him for wise, sound, compassionate, and unbiased advice. He would ask questions to make sure you’re alright, offer spontaneous help – be it financially “paisa chahiyo bhane bhani haalnu”, physically, or logistically. Kamal bhena watched out not just for me, but for countless other people.
On Diwali, he personally came with sweets for my mother and brothers’ families to ensure that they were not left without sweets, being the first major festival after my father’s passing. These are the people who are there for us, who watch out for us. There aren’t very many people in a person’s life who will pick up the phone and scold you. I told him that I was getting surprised expressions from different people when they saw me with a shaved head and didn’t want to keep explaining, and thus decided to share the picture.
“Nares, tyo Facebook ko profile picture kina haaleko? Hami eti bela barah din ko mourning ma chaun.”, he had said when I put up the picture of my shaven head on Facebook after my father’s passing on September 10. Kamal bhena was a man so strong and so tall that you didn’t realize he was the foundation pillar until he is gone. I wanted to write this for the past 2-3 days, but was too grief-stricken – my own, and that of people I dearly love – to get myself to write. Kamal bhena and Anita didi during their daugher Shalu’s wedding in Siliguri in 2017
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